'I’m A Criminologist And I've Realised There Is A Psychopath In My Family'

Dr Xanthé Mallett

I have a female relative (who I won’t identify for obvious reasons) who I think may be a psychopath. We’ll call her ‘A’.

I should be upfront and say we don’t speak. Ever. From my perspective (which, I accept, is totally subjective) this is because she represents everything within the human condition I find abhorrent.

A is manipulative, loves causing trouble, lacks empathy or concern for others, and lives parasitically off her parents with no regard for how this may affect them even though they are now in their 70s.

I’m a criminologist and have spent my 10-year career trying to understand why people behave the way they do. Recently, I started to research and to learn about the psychological makeup of female psychopaths for a professional project. It suddenly struck me: after witnessing A’s disgusting behaviour over the years, could she be a psychopath?

OK, so what are the signs someone is a psychopath?

It’s estimated that between 1-3% of the general population show some symptoms of psychopathy. And while there isn’t that much scientific data on the percentage of female psychopaths, we’re now learning that there might be far more in the community than we thought.

Female psychopaths may be manipulative, deceitful, and exploitative but these traits may be expressed differently than from male psychopaths. For example, instead of being outwardly violent, there is a suggestion that female psychopaths may engage in more manipulative abuse or aggression. An example would be intentionally causing rifts within a family through spreading gossip and lies, or victimising and ostracising someone in their social circle for pleasure. Female psychopaths are also more likely to engage in self-harm than men with the same condition, and be jealous and verbally abusive.

And female psychopaths may wield words more viciously than most, as this is their main weapon.
So, is A a psychopath?

Well, she does live parasitically off her parents, lacks plans for the future, is verbally and sometimes physically violent, lacks empathy, does not feel guilt when she causes harm to others (she used to have a cat she fed chocolate, even though she knew chocolate was poisonous to cats. When I asked her why, she said she enjoyed it), and finds pleasure causing trauma in relationships. She is also highly manipulative and emotionally unstable.

She lives at home with her parents, the only family members she talks to, as she has pushed everyone else away over the years with her behaviour. She totally dominates the family unit, where everything is done her way or else. A doesn’t work and has never had a job, she has few, if any friends, and as a result is totally socially isolated. It appears she has no plans for the future, instead expecting to live of her parents forever.

I used to think that A couldn’t be a psychopath because they are often very superficially charming, and that psychopathy showed itself from childhood. These traits don’t fit A. But I recently learnt that these characteristics don’t hold for female psychopaths, who can develop the characteristics in adolescence and they are not generally charismatic (although they are often more than averagely attractive). This pattern fits A.
Can psychopathy run in the family?

Given that we believe psychopaths are born and not made – i.e. their brains are wired differently – it does concern me that there is an underlying genetic component to A’s behaviour. I share A’s genes, and because I overthink everything, I have considered whether I might be a psychopath. But, as I already know that psychopaths don’t worry about being psychopaths, as they simply wouldn’t care if they were, I have put my mind at ease.

After all of that, I am left wondering if psychopathy is less frequent in women than men, or are we just looking for the wrong signs and symptoms of the condition? Female psychopaths tend to show less criminal and overtly anti-social behaviours, so they may be hiding in plain sight, finding more shaded and elusive ways to cause harm.

I have talked to a few people within the family about A, as well as colleagues with an understanding of the implications of the disorder. But I have not shared my fears with A’s parents. She does not appear to be planning to leave home anytime soon, they are stuck with the situation regardless of a diagnosis.

The bottom line is that female psychopaths may present different behaviours from their male counterparts, but they are just as cunning, manipulative, and ultimately just as dangerous – maybe more so, as we may not initially recognise them for what they are.

How to tell if you might have a psychopath in the family

If you are concerned that you may have a female psychopath in your family, here is a list of traits to look for:

* Lacks a conscience and empathy,

* Is manipulative and cunning.

* Enjoys being cruel or causing trouble

* Is controlling and aggressive in relationships

* Is insecure and jealous,

* and prone to self-harm

Note: Of course, behavioural traits exist on continuums, and some people will have some but not all of those listed above – and that does not make them a psychopath


http://www.whimn.com.au/strength/mind/the-day-i-realised-there-is-a-psychopath-in-my-family/news-story/928467e75252777eccf7d85294434559